Friday, August 13, 2010

Brain Damage

It has become apparent over the past few years that a large segment of our population has somehow become severely brain damaged. This has affected their lives in many ways.
Their hearing is so bad that they must travel in vehicles with the volume turned to the max. If you attempt to speak with them they can only respond with, “Huh”. I don’t know if this can be corrected with hearing aids. In addition to their severe hearing loss they have also lost the ability to properly dress themselves.
They are only able to bring their trousers up to their buttocks and clinch them there with a belt. This of course impeds their stride so they are forced to walk like a duck to hold up the trousers. We are treated to a great variety of under short patterns as their buttocks are exposed to the rear and their genitalia hang over the front. In an attempt to maintain some semblance of decency the poor souls are forced to walk with their genitals and pants front grasped in their hand. This of course is another problem should they ever be forced to seek gainful employment. There aren’t many job skills that require only one hand. In addition to the pants problem they are sometimes forced to wear long shirts outside the pants. This would be dangerous in a mechanical work environment. They have not been able to grasp the intent of a visor on a cap. They don’t know that it is there to keep the sun from blinding them so it often is placed about three quarters around the head. In addition to these clothing handicaps they sometimes must wear a hooded sweatshirt in one hundred degree heat to hide their disabilities.
The government in their infinite wisdom has realized the impairments these people are suffering. They have made a valiant effort to assist them by furnishing them the luxuries of life in addition to the necessities. Why should they not have plasma television sets, free cell phones, autos with twenty-six inch wheels, free high speed Internet, a six pack for breakfast and a EBT card for the ATM so they can have cash for any needs the government might have missed?
Now that you are aware of the problem reach out with compassion to these poor souls.

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